APPLICATION TO JOIN misc.education.home-school.christian

Amended 2006

*Mandatory for all Newbies

Personal Information

[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Troll Namer
[_] Crusader
[_] Infidel Slayer
[_] Winnie The Pooh Fan
[_] Paranoid Sociopath (with gun fetish)
[_] Creationist

First Name: ___________________________
Last Name: __________________________
Estimated age: ____
How many dozen kids do you homeskool?: ____
Do you own a kitchen table to homeskool at? ___
Can you read and rite (sort of)? ______________


1. Who can vouch that you really are a Trew Homeskoola?

[_] Trailer park manager
[_] Parole Officer
[_] Local drug dealer
[_] Gun store owner
[_] Trew Kristyun Pasta
[_] Fellow Trew Homeskoola
[_] Napoleon
[_] My Mom
[_] Answers In Genesis
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College


2. How did you find out about misc.education.home-school.christian?

[_] I'm perfick and I know everything coz I'm a Trew Homeskoola
[_] The Homeskool Fairy told me about it
[_] None of your business, troll!
[_] Answers In Genesis
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College


3. Are you able to shout "Troll!" with every post you send?

[_] Yes
[_] No
[_] Carnt spel trol as i em homeskooled


4. If you are a Trew Homeskool how was your homeskool acquired?:

[_] Cracker Jack / Cereal Box
[_] Extortion
[_] Made it myself from human waste
[_] Found it on the kitchen table
[_] Fell off the back of a truck
[_] A Beka books from unaccredited Pensacola Christian College
[_] Answers in Genesis


5. What made you decide on joining misc.education.home-school.christian?
(Check all that apply):

[_] Ratbaggery
[_] Chance to flame professional educators
[_] Didn't take my medication
[_] I was drunk at the time
[_] I am a member of the Fundamentalist Dark Age
[_] Dunno
[_] Meaningless whim
[_] Winnie The Pooh Fetish
[_] I like to gossip
[_] I like to repeat "Troll!" ad nauseum
[_] I heard a command to join even though I was wearing my Tin Foil Beanie
[_] I like playing with me kids ... and dead things ... and poking 'em with
a stick

6. Please check the subjects you are willing/capable to homeskool in

[_] Illegal drug industry
[_] Hanging by the neck
[_] Gang member/leader
[_] Burning crosses / churches and homes
[_] Phone scamming
[_] Stoning with real stones
[_] E-Mail scamming
[_] Crucifixion
[_] Home invasion ring member/leader
[_] Auto theft
[_] Welfare scamming
[_] Terrorism
[_] Convenience store clerk
[_] Tar and feathering
[_] Homeskool
[_] Playing with guns (Kindergaten to beginning of High School only)
[_] Creationism as science
[_] Phrenology, blood letting, astrology, tarot card reading, etc etc etc as
science


7. How would you describe yourself and your beliefs? (Check all that apply):

[_] Religious fanatic
[_] Funnymentalist
[_] Universal Hatemonger
[_] Anti-educator
[_] Trew Homeskoola
[_] UFOlogist
[_] Paranoid Psychotic with gun fetish
[_] Creationist ratbag


8. What activities do you enjoy participating in on a regular basis?:

[_] Recreational drug use
[_] Religious persecutions
[_] Rape/murder/mayhem
[_] Crucifixion and stoning
[_] Occassional tar and feathering
[_] Intimidation
[_] Singing Ren & Stimpy's "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song

Thank you for taking the time to fill out your Application to join
misc.education.home-school.christian.

Send your completed application to Seckrateary Farty Carts c/o
misc.education.home-school.christian or <p.addamiano-carts@att.net>

Please enjoy the little that your new newsgroup has to offer and don't
hesitate to call people Trolls if they have a different opinion to yourself.

Remember, you don't have to change - you're a Trew Homeskooler!